The all new thrilling episode in Gregory's travel blog!!! Murder! Death! Romance!
I did notlie when I wrote the title of this post, I am in fact typing this out on the 10th floor of the Chiang Mai hospital. I'm sure that some of you were fully expecting such a vigourous and free traveling session to end in hospitalization, so for those few, don't be surprised.
The farm finished well. Very well. Despite the fact that I was very very bored. I guess leading up to the experience I had forgotten that I had spent a good 14 years on a farm doing the same work, grunting and groaning all the way home. So it lost its appeal you could say, or you could say I got restless, but whatever you say, you cannot say that I stayed there... because I didn't, I left sometime around the 1st of April. I was going to spend a few days in Chiang Mai waiting for my bank card to come in the mail, and then get out of that city once and for all! Not that I hate Chiang Mai, I really like it, but one place for too long whilst traveling is just too much. So the plan was stay, get card, and leave. Simple, to the point, what could go wrong? Well, simply put, young Gregory your traveler was TROPICAL INFECTIONED!!! I started feeling headaches around the 3rd or so, headaches that led to body aches, low energy, loss of appetite, and what they call in the scientific world "a general feeling of shittiness." So I did what all smart and promising travelers do; I layed in bed for 3 days hoping for it to go away. But this stubborn little prick of an ailment however, did not go away. By the morning of the 7th, I was unable to perform very basic tasks, and it felt like a nuclear holocauste inside my head. Finally, Agnes threw me in a Tuk Tuk and brought me to a hospital.
I hated hostpitals before this experience, and I'd never properly been in any, and now having been in one, I can honestly say I hate them more. I was carted around from place to place, prodded like a heifer, and finally brought into a pretty shwanky private room. I was put on IV, pumped full of antibiotics, then given blood tests, urine tests, x-rays, and an ultra-sound (to look at my organs... no I'm not pregnant!). My IV machine has it in for me, it is supposed to give off a high pitch beeping noise whenever something's wrong, for exaple if it gets kinked, if I'm taking a poop, if I'm falling asleep, if I'm in the middle of watching or reading something interesting. I am constantly having to summon the nurses to my room to fix it, honestly about a hundred times a day.
I've been here for 3 days now, and things are getting a little clearer. It seems like I contracted some sort of tropical virus which attacked my body without remorse or delay. It did something weird to my kidneys, because they've been functioning a little improperly recently. I guess there's waste your muscles create which is called creatine. and, well your kidney filters it out of your blood and puts it in your pee pee. Weellllll, mine wasn't doing this, so I had creatine levels in my blood about 4 times higher than average. I was also peeing out a lot of protein and white blood cells, which is another sign of kidney impairment. Also I forgot to mention that at the time I came in I was dangerously dehydrated, and the doctor was insistent on me staying there because of the severity.
That's all the technobabble of what went on, but here's the good version: I got sick, went to the hospital, and am getting better very fast. So fast in fact that I may get out tomorrow. I hope to god that I get out of here tomorrow. I feel like a rat in a cage. A rat needs to lurk in garbage bins behind Chinese restaurants and feel their whiskers flying through the air, and not be trapped in a cage. But everything will be peachy keen soon. I'll be out of here, do a bit more traveling, and then be reunited with all my wonderful readers! My health is on an up stroke, and nothing will stop me now! Well, nothing except permanent kindey damage... the doctor told me that sometimes things like this bring out already existing kindey diseases... But to hell with it! I don't have kidney disease, and soon I'll be frollicking in the fields of health with all of you.
I can't wait.
Montgomery, your enfeebled traveling boy.